Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Smug Moms

Smug Moms Posted by Hello

Ok. So am borrowing part of the idea from Bridget Jones. Or should i say Helen Fielding?
In her troubled chronicles about men, weight and other depressing things she coins the term "smug marrieds." Not something you'd figure if you got married at early 20 something. Because you probably are one! There probably is no better term to describe the same phenomena , only applicable to "smug moms" this time around.

The idea first took birth (literally) when D.'s friend who resembled a beached whale in the all the time i knew her produced a little heir. I think she said "royal". The heir was adorable. The mom turned even more adorable. Suddenly this whale was beached no more. She was in full throttle, in deep waters , and closely resembled a super model!

I bumped into her one disheveled morning - she projected her now-lean torso out of the car, and said "you must. you really must." I thought she meant go on a diet , so i sucked in my stomach (hard to do) and agreed whole heartedly. She reached out with a perfectly manicured hand, threw her head back and laughed " Silly, i mean, have a baby!"

Hmmn...i ran out of there, my phone was ringing incessantly (thank god) and gratefully disappeared inside my otherwise odious office.

The phenomena continue(d)(s). Of course all the mums don't resemble Sarah JP. Thank god for small mercies.actually giant mercies. But they all seem to gather the attitude alright!

If you meet an america returned mom - help me god - it just gets worse! You will be up to your ears in epidural & estrogen talk till you gag.

I am sure having a baby is special.I love babies. Other people's.But what is interesting is that the mums are not smug about their babies (that is party understandable, parental pride n joy blah ). The are smug about their situation! Their new bodies, new toy, new status! What I really haven't been able to figure is - why all of these smug moms insist they have a better thing going !

Smug Moms Posted by Hello

I'll let you in on a secret - the smug mom thing - it isn't all kosher! In fact, there are plenty of reasons as to - why don smug mum armour at all!

One smug mom i know complained incessantly about being treated like a mother dairy! Another who resembles Olive Oyl closely has so many stretch marks she resembles the moon's crater filled surface! Another has been susbisting on a diet of hara - chana (greem gram) for the last 3 years (her son's 3) - perhaps her equine appearance has something to do with it. There was a psycho smug mom who locked her baby at home to be able to drink at the whiskey bar ! Another was forced to abandon her super mom persona & quit her glamorous job since the ayah was always on chutti! There's one who's husband is always scouring the sleazy video parlours because his wife's always busy with - the baby of course! And they are not alone!

Better still - i overheard two of these "smug " mums , for about 3 hours, raving and ranting , discussing a third non-mum friend's (?) marriage, career, her appraisal ratings, her travel plans,her shoes, her underwear,her manicure blah blah. The friend in question had absolutely no clue these women existed! Nor worried so much about her! Their smug "i am so fulfilled" maternal instincts apparently extends to friends & bitching!

Perfect though their world is. Am sure it is. Every once in a while you see that little chink in their smug mum armour! Looks as though changing diapers isn't as darling as its made out to be!

Does this story have a touch of Aesop's oldest fable? Perhaps!

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